For anyone who suffered from idiots in the audience in the last tour..

I thought this article might raise a smile of recognition...

Warning, the URL title is Not Safe For Work if your employer is fussy about that kind of thing, don't click if they are!

H

..."verbal bastard diarrhoea" XD

Thanks Hilary, good read!

Fortunately we never came across any of these at all three gigs. No doubt we'll bump into them one day soon!

Lynne wrote:

Fortunately we never came across any of these at all three gigs. No doubt we'll bump into them one day soon!

You were relatively safe at Cambridge Lynne...after all you had all us lovely people around you! It was great the way most of us all stood near each other there

on tues 02 in seats, I had "What are you Drinking? before the slow shuffle of (Let me out I need a) Slash has everyone on their feet. This new arrangement heralds a full 30 minutes of The Tall one Sits in front of the Curmudgeon, which I particularly enjoyed. Back from the Bar raises the seat backs once again" next to us....

which involved numerous gettings up to let them pass, including my £3.90 arena bag of Aero balls (which cost £1.80 in Waitrose!) being scattered and rolling alll along the floor to be trodden in on their return, so that i couldn't eat them and of the couple of vid clips I took, they seemed to choose to make us all get up, evertime we were getting to the best bit!

the comments on that link are funny too...thanks hilary.

Ah, that cracked me up! The fact that it's all true is really not funny, when you think on it...I've dealt with my share of numpties at gigs as well and this article really nails it! Nice one, thanks for sharing Hilary!

That was great. Unfortunately I've had to suffer through similar experiences in the past, and probably will have to again

Both Hilary & Captain Underpants, we salute you!

Hilarious, well-observed and agreed, some cracking comments. I've wondered about the "twonks never came to festivals/gigs before (insert date)" debate before, but there's got to be way more to it than that: Different genres bring different fan mindsets, or die-hards vs. casual audiences who don't get the whole 'don't be an arsehole' etiquette... who knows?

I can claim no credit for it - it was sent me by a friend for whom Crowded House and N Finn are as for elbow and G Garvey are for us. I was wondering if folk here had similar stories to tell and which were the worst bands for having a bad audience.

Funnily enough, the worst examples of audience spoilerage I've come across are all women, apart from one minor groping incident many moons ago. Drunk men tend be all "sorry luv" and talk enthusiastically, if incoherently at me, once they realise they've been standing on my feet or yelling in my ear not their mates'. I've been to a few gigs where the vast majority of the audience are men, and never had any problems at them.

Women, on the other hand, have genuinely got me worried (queuing for Duran Duran at Earls Court in the underpass a few years ago, mood turned nasty) or have assaulted me (they wanted my long-queued for barrier spot, more than one band). Most of the problems tend to be when I've seen bands with a much higher percentage of women in the audience, like Travis, and/or a much younger audience (Kaiser Chiefs, woman behind me was obsessed with blowing in my hair. ).

I think these days its as important to know your audience and venues as it is to know the band in order to maximise pleasure and minimise annoyance. Which venues have bars with poor positioning for noise, badly organised stewarding, aggressive camera policy etc. Which bands attract crowd surfers, mosh pits, drunks etc. And then set your expectations accordingly - expect the worst while hoping for the best.

The hardest thing for me is to try and chill and not let it bother me - but it's easier to try and tune out a talker than someone climbing up the back of your legs and leaning on your shoulders like they are the barrier.

Reading all this I'm happy not to see them in the UK. Strange, isn't it... You might think that when a band plays in their area everythings fine. Doesn't seem like that.
It didn't happen when they've been to Munich the last time. Why: I guess we appreciate it more - and we can't see them that often...

It's sad though. People should go home if they don't like the music... Or shut up!

I should be clear - I've never had any of these problems at an elbow gig, I've always been very lucky that way.

This is more audiences in general, which is why I put it in the "other bands" section.

Very funny! Thanks Hilary.

Had a very, very drunk woman behind us at the MEN.
She was literally falling over all the time!
Apparently she knew Guy from long ago (an old neighbour, the mother of one of his primary school class mates or something) but ske kept shouting 'Remember me!!?? Remember me!!??'
Very annoying...