Ladies of a certain age.............. Grey Expectations

HOW'S ABOUT ABOUT

Susan Sarandon - born 1946

I don't know about you but, I relish being in my 40's. On my 40th birthday I had what I can only discribe as an epihany. My hubby gave me what he thought was a great pressie and I hated it! He booked me a spa session at a local fancy hotel. I spent 5 hours, on my own, bored out of my skull. All I wanted to do was to spend some time with my family and our new puppy. Instead, I was miserable.
It was then that I decided that I'd never rely on anyone else to fulfill my dreams and I haven't looked back since. I've always wanted to earn a living as an artist and 6 months ago, I gave up a job I hated so I could devote more time to that goal. I don't expect I'll end up as the next Picasso or Turner Prize winner but it is more fulfilling than working in a shop.
I've never been what you would describe as a "looker" but now that I'm older, it doesn't matter so much. In fact, some of my old class mates look worse than me and that is soo satisfying!
My children are growing up and now it's me time for a change.
Can I suggest Annie Lennox as our patron saint?

Good to have another member.

This is my crunch year like you Lesley. Second time I've done this. Walked out of a miserable marriage after 20 years and never looked back. Now I'm about to leave my job (much as I love it - but hate the management role) . Planning to spend more time on my two hobbies - glass and stone.

ChrissieInFL wrote:

I'm thinking it's "pissing myself laughing"...I could be wrong though. Maybe it's Hotblack's way of telling us he's "pretty much stud-like", or something...

I'd like to say 'correct on both counts'...........................





...........................but actually only the first one is correct.

Hotblack wrote:

ChrissieInFL wrote:

I'm thinking it's "pissing myself laughing"...I could be wrong though. Maybe it's Hotblack's way of telling us he's "pretty much stud-like", or something...

I'd like to say 'correct on both counts'...........................





...........................but actually only the first one is correct.

Awww, so modest!

Lesley and WOBLEwoble: I can relate to both of you! Turned 40 last year and celebrated it by doing exactly what I wanted to do...with the assistance of my family, I took a 4 day trip to Chicago (one of my favorite cities). I went alone and had the time of my life - shopping, museums, wonderful meals...but best of all was I had the chance to see Elbow in concert for the first time! The gig was at a small and wonderful venue, I got right up front, shook Guy's hand and nabbed Mark's set list. Best trip ever, and it really started my first year of being 40 on the right foot!

I've also made a few big changes my life in the past couple of years and am really feeling like I may be fully on my feet for the first time in a while. If getting older does anything for you, it gives you a real impetus to stop buggering about with things that don't make you happy, or things that just don't matter. Once you get free of the insignificant crap and start focusing on the things that are truly meaningful to you, things just making more sense and the days become so much more enjoyable. Never felt this satisfied in my teens or 20's, despite the fact that I was doing a lot back in those days. But I am enjoying 40 so far and I need to decide what I can do to mark my 41st...won't be as awesome as my Elbow trip but at least I have a show to look forward to in August!

EDIT: Whoops, almost forgot...both Susan Sarandon and Annie Lennox are great nominees for our patron saint! I want to add Chrissie Hynde in there for consideration. She is incredible and has lived both of my dreams (musician AND music journalist)! Of course she had to sleep with Ray Davies for a while there, but you can't have everything.

Another oldie-but-goody here!

I'm 43. No hot flashes as of yet but I think I'm having the peri-menopause mood swing thing. I never know what each morning will bring.

One thing that I find a bit odd is that I still feel 20-something in my head and heart, yet I outwardly look 43(or thereabouts). That's a tough one to grasp. And yes, the ma'am thing I could do without.

Another thing I've noticed is that you totally lose your coolness after 40. Not that I'm no longer cool, but in other people's eyes, I'm too old to be cool, especially it seems to those under 30. But damnit, I'm still cool!

Hrrmmm....what else...

It's also odd to think that I'll be unable to have children very soon. I've already got 4 and have no intentions of having any more, yet it sort of bothers me that I'll no longer be able.

Sometimes I get scared that I'm nearing the "end-half" of my life. I'm scared to death of dying, I don't want to ever leave, and getting older makes me think of things like that.

For the most part though, contrary to what this post probably sounds like to you all, I feel pretty good for 43, both physically and mentally. Like some of you mentioned, probably even better mentally and emotionally as I age.

" Yeah, "boyfriend" sounds totally High School Musical or something...but what the heck else can you call them? Manfriends? That just sounds slightly creepy!"

I usually call my boyfriend my significant other.

Or baby daddy. I kid. This one would not go over too well.

Me thinks we need a vote on the lady of our choice. I agree with you two - lets make it a musician.

ticky wrote:

I think that you will meet someone when you least expect it - I know it's been said before, but it's true.

Yea, I know, it is somehow a truism. I had a friend I almost loved, he was (then) my kind of type but I wasn't his. He turned more and more bitter. And i saw his mouth look more and more bitter. He was such a beauty but I don't want to know how this poor bugger looks today. I don't want to end like him. All time singles turn strange. I am somehow an all time single. Never had a real relationship. There was always an unreachable musician blocking my heart.
Mom says, the "Guy-Garvey-Type" isn't that unreachable: overweight, strong chin and shy. I just hope my taste does not change into unreachable areas when I get well again.
Maybe there is a lovely teddybear with an ex-family with one or two kids who felt ununderstanded with his love for progressive music and seeks a big girl-child with an old woman heart or a old lady with a kid's heart and he's not afraid of the possibility (which I hope will never be) of an bitter "Love Story" (the film) Ending.

My thought of the "Corpse in the bathtub":

"DARLIN', COULD YOU BRÍNG ME RUBBERDUCKY?"
"YES DEAR JUST HAVE TO PUT ON ME ELASTIC STOCKING"

*heartstops...and their last thought *switching off* is their wedding day....*sigh*

Hotblack wrote:

I know a 25 year old who's going on 40 as well. It sort of means that you have a very adult, robust and strong view of the world around you.

I'm 45 going on 11.........or so Mrs H keeps telling me.

I asked my Nan today she said something similar to what you said and then added "You do like to moan a lot aswell."
Cheers Nan!

al wrote:

bluejayway wrote:

I'm 17 going on 40, that's what my Nan says. What does that mean exactly?

Don't worry, my 19 year old body has the bitter, misanthropic heart of a 80 year old man who had a tough life. I prefer hotblack's way of putting it, though

Hehe, kinda like me then, I'm very bitter. No idea why. Maybe a past life experience

bluejayway wrote:

Hotblack wrote:

I know a 25 year old who's going on 40 as well. It sort of means that you have a very adult, robust and strong view of the world around you.

I'm 45 going on 11.........or so Mrs H keeps telling me.

I asked my Nan today she said something similar to what you said and then added "You do like to moan a lot aswell."
Cheers Nan!

PMSL

I've been a 'grumpy old man' since I was 20 and in a bizarre way I really enjoy it. Mind you I do try to be a humourous grumpy old man and not a miserable grumpy old man.

Hotblack wrote:

PMSL

I've been a 'grumpy old man' since I was 20 and in a bizarre way I really enjoy it. Mind you I do try to be a humourous grumpy old man and not a miserable grumpy old man.

My mates say I'm the female equivalent to Dylan Moran, grumpy but hilarious. I wouldn't say I'm that funny, but grumpy...? Yeah!

You think you're grumpy now.... wait till you hit menopause!

bluejayway wrote:

My mates say I'm the female equivalent to Dylan Moran, grumpy but hilarious. I wouldn't say I'm that funny, but grumpy...? Yeah!

Ain't nothing wrong with that, as long as you've got the Manny to your Bernard Black

I never thought I'd see a thread like this on an Elbow messageboard!
Old farts at Elbow gigs, yes, but Old ladies no, grab a granny nights!

40s isn't old when you get past it, I must admit really enjoyed my 40s with the help of Elbow and I used to say I'd stop when I hit 50.

Annie Lennox good ;-) I also suggest Kate Bush, Stevie Nicks, Joanna Lumley and Twiggy.

I have some boyfriend jeans, it says so on the label, thats about it.

lucky with disease wrote:

I never thought I'd see a thread like this on an Elbow messageboard!
Old farts at Elbow gigs, yes, but Old ladies no, grab a granny nights!

40s isn't old when you get past it, I must admit really enjoyed my 40s with the help of Elbow and I used to say I'd stop when I hit 50.

Annie Lennox good ;-) I also suggest Kate Bush, Stevie Nicks, Joanna Lumley and Twiggy.

I have some boyfriend jeans, it says so on the label, thats about it.

50 didn't stop me! sounds like you haven't as well 'lucky with disease'. Less of the grab a granny night

Just my humour...sorry
I'm not a granny yet... let you know when that happy day comes.
I'm in limbo.

lucky with disease wrote:

Just my humour...sorry
I'm not a granny yet... let you know when that happy day comes.
I'm in limbo.

I go to gigs with my daughter (when we both agree on the band !!!) She can't wait till her daughter can come as well. Me too!! Three generations at a gig - will that be a first Our next gig together is DOVES

ticky wrote:

You think you're grumpy now.... wait till you hit menopause!

Yeah, I'm looking forward to that too...friend of mine's already dealing with it and the word "grumpy" does not do her justice.

WOBLEwoble, that is very cool about the generations going to shows together! My kid's only 8 yet, and so far I've had to go t shows that were appropriate for her...meaning Corbin Bleu, Drake Bell and Aly & AJ. So I am waiting patiently for her to be old enough for other stuff. She has already informed me that she wants her first "real" concert to be Weezer, which totally works for me. I just hope there's still a Weezer tour to hit when she's a few years older!

Hmmm, sounds like we have a real good list of possible patron saints here...not sure how to decide! We could do a poll, but there's only, like, 5 of us!

Sure we will attract more in time !!!

I know I'm only a mere 38 but can I join? I've been reading everyone else's comments and finding myself nodding my head in agreement
I'd vote Annie Lennox-dont really like her music that much but always kind of liked her.

Shall we admit her to this most exclusive of clubs ladies?!!!

What's two years amongst friends - fine by me!!!

I agree about Annie Lennox - I love her voice, not keen on her songs, but admire her greatly as a human being.

Thankyou

Welcome Nellie

Riiiiight...I don't think i'm going to get involved in all this, since i'm not a woman...or middle aged...or crazy.